


find me a four-leaf clover

by kuddlbug



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: (I think?), Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, I'm Sorry, Love Confessions, M/M, a bit of fluff at the beginning, at least that's what i think, not heavy angst this is like a tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25221703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuddlbug/pseuds/kuddlbug
Summary: People say anything when they're children, and Kang Taehyun is not an exception. He tells Choi Soobin that he wants to marry him.Endeared, Soobin accepts his proposal, but under one condition—the younger must propose to him with a four-leaf clover.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68





	find me a four-leaf clover

“Hyung,” said the then eight-year-old Kang Taehyun, “will you marry me?”

The sudden proposal caught little ten-year-old Choi Soobin off guard, making him pause his reading to stare at the younger boy.

“You want to _marry_ me?” Soobin scoffed.

“Yes,” Taehyun answered seriously, once again catching Soobin off guard; he thought that the younger boy was only joking around.

“Why?” Soobin asked, putting down his book.

“Because,” Taehyun began, “I love you.”

A smile appeared on Soobin’s face, followed by a giggle. Taehyun stared at him and gave him a puzzled look. “Why are you laughing?” he asked.

“I meant,” Soobin said, still smiling, “what do you find attractive about me?”

“Attractive?” Taehyun repeated. 

“What do you like about me?” Soobin corrected himself, while also explaining to the younger boy.

“Oh,” Taehyun said. He looked at Soobin with a little pout and tilted his head to the side. “Well,” he said again, “your smile makes me happy.”

Soobin chuckled. “Is that so?”

“You give the warmest hugs,” Taehyun continued, ignoring Soobin’s reaction, “you’re also really nice to everyone (especially me) and you take really good care of me.”

“Oh,” Soobin said, nodding and smiling as the younger continued to list things he found attractive about him. 

The list didn’t go longer than seven reasons, but they were all very sweet to him. Taehyun had always been one of the quieter kids in the neighborhood, which was what drew Soobin to him; so this sudden confession took him completely by surprise, because up until then he always assumed Taehyun only played with him due to their similar interests and because he was quiet as well.

“Will you marry me now?” Taehyun asked, causing Soobin to giggle at his persistence.

“Hmm,” Soobin hummed, pretending to give it a thought, “no.”

Taehyun gave him a bewildered look. “Why not?” he asked with his eyebrows knitted together and bottom lip out in a pout.

“You don’t have a ring,” Soobin told him.

Taehyun raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I’m only _eight_ , I don’t have money to buy a ring,” he said.

“Then I guess I won’t marry you,” Soobin said, picking up his book again. This obviously upset Taehyun because the look on his face resembled that of a kicked puppy; it almost made Soobin sad.

“Then… If I make one, will you accept it?” he asked, still not giving up.

Soobin shook his head, as he continued reading where he had left off on the page.

“What if I get you something else?” Taehyun tried again. The offer sparked a little curiosity in Soobin, so he put down his book again to listen to what the younger boy had in mind.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“What if I give you”—he looked around for a random item—“my teddy bear instead of a ring?” He picked up the little stuffed bear and presented it to Soobin.

“But won’t you miss him?” Soobin asked, referring to the bear.

“I will,” Taehyun admitted, looking at his stuffed toy, “but if you marry me, I’ll still be able to play with him, right?”

That earned an amused laugh from Soobin, who looked at the teddy bear and gently pushed it back towards Taehyun. “Your teddy bear is too precious for that,” he said, “why don’t you get me something else—like a four-leaf clover, maybe?”

Taehyun seemed to like the sound of that idea, because his face instantly lit up. “I can do that!” he said happily.

“Okay,” Soobin said. He couldn’t help but smile along when he saw the younger’s happy face.

“So you promise me, right?” Taehyun asked, putting up his pinky finger.

“Promise what?” Soobin asked back.

“If I get you a clover, you’ll marry me,” Taehyun answered.

“A _four-leaf_ clover,” Soobin corrected him.

Taehyun rolled his eyes. “Same thing,” he said, still with his pinky finger up.

“ _No_ ,” Soobin said, “the other one is more special, because if you can find it, I’ll marry you.” With that, Soobin linked their pinky fingers together, making Taehyun beam.

“I’ll start looking now!” he said as he excitedly hopped off the bench he was sitting on; conveniently for him, they were in a garden.

As Taehyun thoroughly scanned the grass around them for the rare plant, Soobin watched with a smile on his face. The idea of them getting married was humorous to him, because he knew that it was something impossible—two boys getting married; but he didn’t want to disappoint the younger boy. He knew that four-leaf clovers were rare, which was why he gave Taehyun the idea; by the time he would’ve found one, he would probably have forgotten about their little promise. At least that was Soobin’s idea.

“Hyung, your garden doesn’t even have any clovers,” Taehyun said, walking back to the table where Soobin sat after a fruitless search.

“Have you tried looking near that tree?” Soobin asked, pointing at an old tree, that loomed over anyone who happened to walk by it.

“No,” Taehyun murmured, shaking his head, “it’s scary.”

Soobin chuckled. “I’ll look with you.”

* * *

Soobin was right, four-leaf clovers were definitely rare; Taehyun hadn’t had any luck in _years_. But unbeknownst to Soobin, who had seemed to have forgotten their promise as they grew up, Taehyun kept looking; whenever he had the chance, he would. He started with the garden in his own backyard, and when that didn’t yield any results, he would try his neighbors’. 

Sometimes what looked like it had four leaves actually had _three_ leaves instead, which annoyed him to say the least, but he didn’t let that discourage him. 

At fifteen, Taehyun almost wanted to give up, but it was far too late for him to do so, because what originally was _just_ adoration grew into something more—something he had never thought he would feel for the older boy, and that was enough to keep him going for a few more years. He eventually started looking in his school’s garden, which was a lot bigger than the ones he’d search through in the past.

When Taehyun was sixteen, Soobin moved away to a neighboring city. They had promised to stay in contact with each other, but of course that didn’t last long; with high school and everything it brought along with it, there was no way they had time for each other anymore. Yet, despite all that, Taehyun still worked hard to find the four-leaf clover.

Within a year, Taehyun had managed to cover most, if not all, of the school’s garden. At this point, the school garden wasn’t big enough anymore, so he started looking in parks whenever he had the chance to.

It took him a while, but he eventually found one, growing right outside of Soobin’s old lawn. Who knew—after fifteen years of looking, he would find it at the very place he started looking. That day was a good day for Taehyun. He kept the little clover in his wallet; sometimes he would look at it and smile to himself, while imagining the look on Soobin’s face once he gives it to him—he imagined that Soobin would be smiling. 

Ever since then, Taehyun kept wishing for a chance to see Soobin again, so he could give him the clover and marry him. _Marry_ —the word made him chuckle; would Soobin even want to marry him—a man? 

He thought maybe he should ask Soobin what he found attractive about him the next time they saw each other—like how Soobin did when Taehyun first "proposed" to him. He also thought maybe he should propose properly this time—by getting on one knee and pulling out the clover like a ring—that would be nice, he thought.

* * *

It had been a year since Taehyun found the clover and started wishing to meet Soobin again. Though he hadn’t been very lucky, his wishes were granted, and he could finally see the boy who had stolen his heart all those years ago. 

But when you _wish_ , there will always be a twisted catch that follows.

Just like how Taehyun couldn’t find the clover for years, he never knew how tie a tie properly, but he learned, of course. Yet, that day he wished he never did.

He adjusted the tie in front of his bathroom mirror and sighed as he combed his hair to neaten it. Once he felt like he looked presentable enough, he exited the bathroom to meet his mom, who was sitting on their couch, staring emptily ahead.

“Mom,” he said, “are you ready?”

She turned to look at him and stood up, walking towards him. She chuckled at the way he put on his tie and fixed it for him. 

“I am,” she said. “Are _you_ ready?”

“I don’t know,” Taehyun answered, looking down.

His mom gave him a sad smile and caressed his cheek with her thumb. “Let’s go,” she said.

He looked at her briefly before nodding and opening the door to walk to their car. Once he got on it, he waited for his mom to lock the door. It was then when he realized he had forgotten to bring something with him—something important.

“Wait, mom,” he said, getting out of the car.

“What is it?” she asked.

“I forgot my wallet,” he said, already brushing past her to go back into the house.

He came back not too long after with the small, black leather wallet in his hand.

“What do you need that for?” his mom asked.

“Nothing,” he said, pocketing the wallet, “I just feel better to have it with me.”

She raised an eyebrow at that answer, but didn’t bother to ask further questions. “Okay,” she said, “let’s go now.”

When they got there, they could see some parked cars, which they assumed belonged Soobin’s relatives.

“Are you ready?” his mom asked once she had parked their car.

“I think,” Taehyun answered, unable to bring himself to look at her.

She put her hand on his and squeezed it. “You’ve got this,” she said, tracing circles on the back of his hand with her thumb. Taehyun nodded, but still avoided her eyes. With that, they both got out of the car and made their way inside. 

The grass looked healthy and happy—the complete opposite of the atmosphere around it. Taehyun didn’t want to look at the grass, but it was better than looking at the stones. The ones that had names engraved onto them, that is.

His mom was the first of them both to break down crying when she met Soobin’s mom and saw how she had been crying, which was evident from the way her eyeliner left trails down her cheeks.

“Mrs. Choi,” Taehyun said, walking over to the two crying women.

“Oh, Taehyun,” Soobin’s mom said, pulling him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to see him,” she said again, letting him go and wiping her eyes with crumpled up tissue.

“It’s okay,” he said, giving her a soft smile, fearing that if he let her see his sadness, she would start crying again. “I’ll go and say some things to him, okay?” he said again, before excusing himself and walking towards the stone. It was shiny and black, with the older boy’s name engraved onto it in white—it was a sight that caused multiple unpleasant feelings to stir up inside of Taehyun.

“Hi, hyung,” he said, “it’s Taehyunie.”

He looked at his shoes to figure out what to say next.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it?” he continued. “I hope you still remember me.”

He imagined Soobin nodding quietly and smiling in response; he would—it was such a Soobin thing to do.

“Why did you stop calling me?” he asked, trying not to let his voice break. “It’s okay though,” he added soon after, “I bet you were busy with school.”

There was a long pause that followed because Taehyun didn’t know what else to add onto that. His mind wandered off to the past, back when he and Soobin were closer. 

“I found it!” he remembered himself announcing to Soobin when they were looking for a four-leaf clover together, under the big tree in Soobin’s backyard. 

“That’s not a four-leaf clover,” Soobin told him as he picked up the plant from Taehyun’s hand to examine it. “It’s not even a clover,” he continued, laughing. 

Taehyun whined at that. “Can’t I just draw you one?”

“No,” Soobin said, shaking his head, “I want a real one.”

“But it’s so hard to find,” Taehyun complained, earning a giggle from the older boy.

“You can do it, Taehyunie,” Soobin said, ruffling his hair, “don’t give up.”

“Oh, right,” Taehyun said to himself, remembering something. He reached into his pocket for his wallet and opened it. And there it was—the four-leaf clover. It was dried up and flattened from being kept too long in Taehyun’s wallet, but all four of its little leaves were still intact.

“I found your clover, by the way,” he said, smiling softly as he looked down at the pale clover in his wallet. “It’s dry, and kind of flat, but it’s still a four-leaf clover,” he continued, chuckling at himself for what he said.

“I was planning to propose to you again,” he said as memories of their childhood raced through his mind, “but I don’t know if you’ll accept my late proposal.”

He paused again before saying, “I bet the clovers up there are way prettier than the ones down here.” This was the part where his eyes started to water. “But no matter how pretty they are, they’ll never be as special as this one, right, hyung?” he continued, taking out the clover from inside of his wallet carefully, as a tear slid down his cheek.

He held it in his hand, caressing its leaves with his thumb, gently as to not break the delicate thing. He then looked at the flowers leaning on the stone and spotted a handmade bouquet of only daisies. He smiled; they reminded him so much of the older boy—how he was so delicate and innocent.

“I think I should go now, hyung,” he said, “you need to rest.”

Taehyun reached for his wallet again and put the clover back inside. This time in the clear pocket of his wallet, so he could see it better. He then kneeled next to the stone and put his hand on top of it.

“Hyung,” he said softly, “I’ll keep the clover for now, okay?”

He could see his mom and Soobin’s mom watching him from the corner of his eye.

“I’ll give it to you when I see you again,” he continued, leaning in and pressing his forehead against the side of the stone, with his eyes closed. It felt cold, unlike Soobin’s hugs; Taehyun missed them.

“And that’s a pinky promise, so wait for me, okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, how was it? How was my first attempt at angst?  
> I know it's not the best, but I really tried!! I wanted to open myself up more and try writing angst for a change :D  
> I also tried (keyword: TRIED) to make it slightly longer than my previous works and idk,, how do u all feel about it?  
> I'm sorry if it wasn't very satisfying (please tell me what I can do to improve!! but please don't be mean :c )
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading!!  
> ps: I'm sorry if I've caused any tears to be shed :(


End file.
